Not Giving Up
Last three years COVID
and dating post fifty
My mind a slate sky
I want the Zen master’s
empty mind
so I can emerge
from wicked winter
through the fuchsia tunnel
to a warmer spring rain
June 2024
What Sustains
Another hand open
To walk beside us
The care that does not abandon
That understands the tears of the other
How we can be broken and still be held
Not for a moment but a lifetime
Should we be this lucky
May 2024
Dungeon
Fears that have shackled you too long
A blessing you cannot see coming
Maybe you are gathering yourself
Letting the walls of pain
that have been slowly closing in
crumble
April 2024
It is never too late
To find a love that lasts
It’s never too late
To watch how the milkweed and purple irises
Bend towards each other
It’s never too late to trudge
Step by difficult step
Away from the throes of fear and anxiety
To hear the woodthrush’s sliver of promise
Greeting the spring morning
Telling myself even in tortured times
Divorce at forty, dating past fifty
Step by slow step
Maybe fear one day...
How Long
Dating random guys who don’t seem to care
Always chasing the next shiny object
Some rude like North Carolina
Speaking to me for seven months, meeting me
Then going back, ghosting me
A term I only recently learned
Turning me into a shade
The St. Louis doctor’s voice turns curt
When he says he can’t meet me in April
I’m kinder than these guys, I care
But my desperation to have a ring on my finger
Is driving me into eddies of anxiety and despair
...
Tsunami
A tsunami crashed over me without warning
It’s been a month of them
Wave after wave
Tossing me to and fro
Battering me from all sides
Just when I think the sea of life has calmed
Another wave hits
Knocking me down
Pushing me under
Battering me from all sides
I’m treading,
Waiting for my lifeboat to pick me up
Holding on for dear life
Praying that the waves will stop
Battering me from all sides
7.30.2024